Progesterone and Jeans

In no way shape or form is this a complainy post. I honestly need some direction.

I have no jeans that fit. My normal jeans are too small and my fat pant jeans are too big thanks to the fact that I lost some weight before getting knocked up. All this makes for a very uncomfortable day on casual fridays at work. I am either sitting at my desk with my button and zipper undone, or I am walking around with my pants around my ankles.

I understand that there is a band type thing I can purchase? Has anyone bought it? How does it work? Did it work?

My other question is regarding pro.gesterone suppositories. My RE said I could stop them at 10 weeks. My doc wants me to stay on it until 14 weeks. As you may know - these capsules of staying preg.nant goodness are amazing, but a bit messy and can get a bit irritating on the skin. Especially those of us with VERY sensitive skin. If you took them, how long did you take them. I will continue to 40 weeks if it means bringing home a healthy baby, so again, not complaining, just curious.

Thanks for your help!

Anything irritating you these day?

Brain on Overdrive

Just a bunch of random thoughts that go through my mind each day at light speed. Most of it is probably TMI - so read at your own risk.... you have been warned.

Progest.erone is messy and leaks out a lot during the day and night.

The aforementioned leaking freaks me out every time that it could be blood.

Blood is on my mind every time I use the restroom.

Not a day goes by that I don't have miscarriage on the brain at least once.

My swelling belly should calm me of my miscarriage fears as should my approach of blind faith - should being the key word here.

When I have to poop - I am afraid that the wee babe is going to come along with it - never told you I was normal.

I wonder if King Kong and Ryan will ever get along or if I will always need to act as their mediator.

I wonder if Joe will ever sleep all night in his own bed - he squirms a lot during the night and has kicked me in the gut on more then one occasion. And in the boobs - new experience in pain.

I want my mom to know so bad that I'm preg.nant, but I am respecting King Kong's wishes and holding it in for 2.5 more weeks. Being respectful sucks sometimes.

I wonder if I will ever be caught up on my goo.gle reader and hope people understand that while I may not comment a lot, I am reading and keeping you all in my thoughts.

So that about sums up my brain on overdrive. What's been on your mind lately?

Vacation

I'm taking a few days off of work. It is heaven. Ryan is getting his braces off tomorrow and getting his retainer on Friday, so instead of taking time off here and there and driving all over creation back to school and work - I am taking time off. Not really a 'me' time vacation, but what does one of those consist of, really? I'm just so happy to not have to be leaving the house at the crack of dawn in the freezing cold that is January in MN.

So, would you like an update on the wee babe? If so, read on.

I went to my first non-RE appointment with my favorite doc in the whole world on Monday. Dr B is awesome and understands my panic stricken self and is so supportive. She told me I could come in as often as I want, but for sure wants to see me every 2 weeks. I was also given orders for another ultra.sound and a visit or 7 with the peri.natal clinic as I am considered 'high risk'.

So, first things first, I made that appointment for the u/s and got in that afternoon. Baby is now growing a day ahead and heartbeat was 159. Amazing how much they grow in one week! In my relief and amazement, I did not ask for any of the pictures - shame on me!

I also have now scheduled my visit with the specialist clinic for Feb 3. I will have some genetic counseling that day, have my NT scan and blood work, and decide what other screenings we should have done. That appointment is 4 weeks out and feels like a lifetime away right now, but I am continuing to move forward one minute at a time with my blind faith.

And enjoying my vacation.

Graduation

That's right - we have graduated from the RE. I am so relieved. True gestational age is 6W5D (I don't know why it isn't 7W, but that's OK) and that was exactly what the measurement is. Heartrate was a beautiful 123 BPM!! The CNP made me hold my breath at one point so she could get an accurate heartrate on the wee thing as my heart was going 50 million miles an hour causing a lot of jostling.

Only downside was that King Kong couldn't join me today. He is the only one at work, so his presence was needed. Still, it bummed me out a little.

Man, this is just so amazing.

Merry Christmas!!!

Merry Christmas to my friends near and far! May all our Christmas wishes come true!

Blind Faith

Blind Faith. I see those two words a lot on blogs I follow. This past week those two words have gotten me through some dark times. At this stage, there isn't a lot to go on to realize that I am preg.nant, but Blind Faith.

Non tangibles are very hard for me. Not being in control of all situations is very hard for me. Waiting for December 28th to HOPEFULLY see a developing person(s) with a strong heartbeat(s) is very hard for me. I am living each day with Blind Faith.

Does it help that I am brutally tired and starting to gag - it sure does, but what is really getting me through is Blind Faith.

Freaking myself the heck out

I went back to the clinic on Monday for my third be.ta. The number was terrific, 1119. I should be nothing but happy right now, but instead I am freaking myself the heck out.

All symptoms seem to have disappeared. My ta.ta's were so wonderfully sore a few days ago - and now - nothing but a twinge here and there. My intense sense of smell, lacking. The aversion to french fries, gone. I am freaking myself the heck out.

As you can see through my history, miscarriage is not new to me. I so want and pray that this baby is viable and goes to term and lives a long healthy happy life. I know in my head that I am only 5W4D's along and 'morning sickness' is not typical this early on. I am so trying to remain positive and calm, but I am freaking myself the heck out.